Turning Happenstance into Mission: Vayikra in the Time of COVID-19
“Vayikra” means “And God called.”
God called to Moses, an invitation only given to him at particularly challenging and transitional moments of his service*. At the burning bush. At Sinai. And now, as he is asked to usher the people into a being a community in service of their God.
“Vayikra”- And God called.
However, according to some interpretations, Moses wasn’t sure he was worthy of the call.
If you look at a torah scroll, the word “Vayikra” appears in a peculiar way — with a small “aleph.” Just as we examine and interpret all the dots and crowns of the torah to discern meaning, we also seek wisdom from the strange appearance of the “aleph” at the start of our parsha (and a new book of the torah).
The Ba’al HaTurim (Jacob ben Asher, Medieval commentator) offers what has become a famous interpretation of the small aleph. He imagines a conversation or debate between God and Moses:
When God dictated the torah word by word to Moses, as is taught in our tradition, when this word came, Moses wanted to write “Vayikar” (same letters as Vayikra but without the aleph). “Vayikar” means “and God happened upon him.” So as to say that God just happened to find Moses there and told him these instructions, as if by chance or coincidence. Moses did not believe himself worthy.
Alas, God persisted and insisted. God did not just “happen upon” Moses. God called Moses out because he had a particular mission to fill. In the end, they compromised: The letter is there, but Moses wrote it smaller than the rest.
This inventive interpretation becomes a lesson in Moses’ praiseworthy humility and an affirmation in God’s larger plans for Moses and each of us. I want to offer my own Reconstructionist interpretation of the small aleph and the teaching.
I want to make a claim that life is a journey navigating the “Vayikar” and the “Vayikra.” Navigating the “it just happened to us” and “we were called to the task.” It’s not necessarily that God has a larger plan for each of us; rather, each of us in our life at different moments is invited to take those things that happen to us and transform them into our own mission and purpose. To rise to the situations in front of us and wrest meaning out of that path.
Perhaps put more simply:
If Vayikar is coinicedence, and Vayikra is sacred purpose: our job as humans is to take that which comes upon us and find a way to bring some holy attention and devotion to it. To transform Vayikra to Vayikra, as we are able.
Sometimes this transformation comes from neutral or positive events. Becoming SAJ’s rabbi, for example, was in many ways “vayikar,” happenstance. I happened to be open to a new rabbinic job at the same time that SAJ was looking for a new rabbi. A year earlier or a few years later, I would not have applied for this position. That coincidence has become Vayikra. Each and every day, and especially in this moment, I feel called to the sacred work, to guide, to lead, to listen. What started as happenstance has become sacred mission.
Other times, this movement from Vayikar to Vayikra comes from a place of struggle and challenge. It is important to note that I am specifically speaking of situations that are beyond our control. If we are being weighed down by systemic racism, sexism, homophobia, or transphobia (etc), we should not simply accept and transform- we should fight for change and resist these kinds of systems of oppressions as much as we can.
But for those situations which we truly cannot control, those that “happen upon us,” we are invited — in due time and space — to find some sparks of holiness, some sense of personal mission.
I am thinking of the friend of mine whose child has multiple special needs. She had not imagined herself being the mom of a child whose needs were so consuming. Yet, she grew into the situation as a mom, as an advocate, and as a contributor to a community of other parents like her. It didn’t happen for a reason — nonetheless, she was able to tranform Vayikar into Vayikra.
Or the relative I know who had to dedicate what he envisioned were to be his best years after retirement to caretaking for a loved one. While there was inevitably internal struggle, he found a way to both care for himself and for his beloved.
Between Vayikar and Vayikra is a “calling” for us to grow, to see ourselves and our capacities as bigger than we would have otherwise imagined. This rings true with another medieval commentary’s interpretation of Vayikra as a call of love — Vayikra is a loving invitation to show up in a new way.
I would be remiss not to mention the “vayikar” in which we all find ourselves, with COVID-19 in our city and beyond. A Vayikar that I should mention could have been mitigated so differently if we had moral, clear, committed leadership in the top chambers of our country. Nonetheless, there is a “Vayikar” we are all experiencing with the disruption of our lives, the anxiety, the fear, the concern for loved ones and friends who are ill that come with this moment.
I have seen us as a community already making this shift- we see it in the incredible generosity of the community which is coming forward to make phone calls, offer support, and show up for each other in new ways. We are living out the best of our values in an incredibly difficult situation and if this is not VAYIKRA, a sacred calling, I do not know what is.
As we move through these days, I invite you to consider this question: How do we make vayikar into viyikra? What is this moment calling to you — in terms of how you might better live your life or envision and bring about a society that is more equitable and healthy for the long term?
I want to conclude with a final gloss:
While according to interpretation, Moses does end up writing “Vayikra” — conceding the word and concept; he leaves in a reminder of this debate with a small aleph.
The small aleph can represent the dynamic struggle — that middle ground between Vayikar and Vayikra. But aleph is also the silent FIRST letter of the alphabet. As such, as the beginning of speech and alphabet, it is also a symbol of possibility.
The space between Vayikar and Vayikra is POSSIBILITY. Unknown, unwritten, and unformed possibility — for each of us to discover in our own time, and in our own way. It is ours to discover.
*It is significant that the language of Vayikra is used at the Burning Bush, at Sinai, and in this moment of calling into the Tent of Meeting. Other times, God’s speech is direct.
